Periods + autism: how to manage your period as an autistic person
written by Bella Neergaard and Silke Arbo.
Being autistic and having a menstrual cycle can be a challenging experience, if you don’t have the tools to handle it.
Research has indicated that autistic folk who menstruate often struggle more with emotional regulation, particularly during their luteal phase (2 weeks before their period) and are more likely to have PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder).
Studies have also suggested that autistic people often need more straight-forward, in-depth information about menstruation, and generally more guidance about how to use sanitary products.
In this article, Silke (pictured left) and I share our own story of our first period, our experiences with different sanitary products and some general tips and tricks to navigate your period as an autistic person.
The story of my first period- Bella
I first got my period when I was 13. I didn’t realise in the moment that what I was experiencing was “my period”, I just remember having odd stomach “cramps”, but in my abdominal area. I had some weird brown discharge, which didn’t look like blood at all, so I ignored it until mentioning it to my mum.
She told me “that’s your period!” which was a shock to me, since I always thought that periods were blood, and blood is, of course, red.
Learning to adjust to the physical symptoms of my period was difficult. I hated the way my pad would detach throughout the day, making it hard to focus in class whilst I had this uncomfortable wad of plastic fabric under my skirt. I also hated the unpredictability of how much I would bleed.
The ‘heavier’ days were fine, although intense. But as soon as I thought I was done for the month, another ‘day’ of bleeding would come. Being an autistic girl, now a woman, I clasped onto everything that I could control and struggled with all the things I couldn’t. Eating, drinking water, going to the bathroom, those are all things I had authority over, because it was my body. But for the first time ever, my mind and body was somehow out of sync.
The social adjustments to having a period was also tough. I remember once I was in school, I put my leg up onto a desk to tie my shoes. I was wearing a pad. A girl in my class told me: “you know we can all see your pad right?” I was confused, since even though I had forgotten I was wearing a pad, why should it matter that someone can see it? If anything, I thought it would be a sign of coolness, since “growing up” was something us, girls were all aspiring to. That moment shifted my own narrative of what it meant to have a period. Hide any trace of your period to the outside world. Bleeding isn’t cool, like wearing mascara or being able to watch Disney Channel on weekdays.
The story of my first period- Silke
I had just turned 13 the first time I got my period. It was during the summer vacation before I started the 7th grade. One evening while we were watching a movie I noticed some brown discharge in my panties. I remember that I had one of my friends visiting, to whom I told the same thing I found out. Some of the girls in my school class had already had their first period, so I was one of the last, and had gone and been a bit unsure if there was something wrong with me, because I hadn't had my period yet like all the others.
I was very tall, slim and didn't have very many curves compared to my peers, so I was happy to finally "become a real woman," as it was phrased by some of the adults around me, most of all so there was one less point I felt behind and wrong, when comparing myself to the girls in my class.
I was really proud and happy, right up until I had to put a pad in, and it dawned on me that we didn't have any like that in the house. My mother is sensory challenged (and is probably on the autism spectrum, just like me), and for that reason she has not been able to use period pads, but preferred tampons. I am the oldest daughter in my family, so there had been no reason to have period pads in the house before I got my menstruation.
Of course, this meant that we had to go to the supermarket the next day and get a pack of pads for me. I had both my mom and my dad with me, so it was all extra embarrassing because I was the reason a MAN was standing in the meno products section. I remember being so overwhelmed by the whole situation, that I was about to have a meltdown standing there in the supermarket trying to deal with my body changing, my abdomen hurting, people watching me because I was crying, all the many brightly colored packages of pads and tampons and the fact that there was no one to help me choose between them.
In the middle of my mental breakdown, I remembered that a year earlier we had had a friendly lady come out to talk about menstruation, meno products, sex and the like, and that she had had a turquoise package of pads with her, and she said they were good to use. I still remember to this day that they were turquoise Libresse pads, extra long with wings. I located a similar package on the shelf in Kvickly and told my mom and dad those were the ones I wanted.
It took me 4 years and a job as a youth worker in a supermarket to find out that these were not (and had never been) the right pads for me at all. Up to that point in 2017, I had only bought one kind of pad because it was the kind I had been told by another person was good to use. As I've gotten older, I've found that shorter-lasting perfumes are much better for me, as the ones with added fragrance and perfume make it itch like crazy - I just accepted that as a condition, for the first 4 years , because I was too insecure to try new pads, or even wilder, tampons.
Today, I pretty much only use tampons because the feeling of pads scraping against my skin is simply too uncomfortable for me to do my things and go to work when I'm on my period. Period pads are something I sleep with, and only if I'm bleeding so much that I have to. I've been thinking about buying a pair of period panties (or 5) but I up until now I’ve gotten too overwhelmed in the process of choosing the brand, retailer, size and the like every time I try, and since it's a bit of a financial investment, I want to make sure that I choose correctly. So for now tampons are what works best for me.
(Autistic friendly) guide to working out which menstrual products work for you
Pads:
Pros:
You don’t have to insert it inside of you.
You can easily monitor how much you’re bleeding.
You can wear a pad at any point of your bleeding cycle (lighter days, heavier days, spotting).
Cons:
They can be uncomfortable to wear.
You have to remember to buy them when you’re about to run out, and to pack enough if you’re leaving your house.
Tampons:
Pros:
There are several sizes, for all stages of your bleeding (eg. light, normal, super absorbancy).
There are tampons with plastic applicators, which make inserting it in much easier (less blood on your hands!)
Cons:
If you’re forgetful, you may have to remind yourself to change your tampon every 5 hours or so. It can be dangerous to leave a tampon in over a long period of time.
You have to remember to buy them when you’re about to run out, and to pack enough if you’re leaving your house
Menstrual cup:
Pros:
Reusable! You don’t have to throw them away with every use (like tampons and pads)
They hold more blood than tampons, so less trips to the bathroom.
Cons:
Inserting your menstrual cup may take practice.
More risk for spilling blood.
Period underwear:
Pros:
You don’t have to worry about remembering sanitary products when you leave the house.
You can wear them at all stages of your bleeding
Reusable- you can just put them in the wash and they’re good to go next month
Last a long time- you can wear your period underwear for up to 12 hours (depending on the underwear brand and your flow)
Cons:
If you’re extra sensitive to smells and you have a heavy flow, they may be uncomfortable.
More tips:
Use a period tracking app (Clue, Flo), to reduce the unpredictability of when you’ll get your period. Mark your calendar on days when you think you’ll start bleeding.
Always have a spare sanitary product in your bag, no matter what stage of your cycle you’re in. It can also be helpful to have extra panties in your bag, in case you forget to change your sanitary product in time.
Be extra kind to yourself in the 2 weeks before your period starts (the luteal phase). Try to schedule less social plans, and take good care of your body and mind (eating nutritious food, drinking extra amount of water).
For the Danish version of this post, be sure to check out Silke’s post on her blog here:
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